Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When does a man tell a woman he has feelings for her?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How does a single-payer healthcare system handle costs for surgeries, and what's the patient experience like compared to private insurance?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Forget drones, Amazon has new robots that could replace humans - TheStreet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t cotton to rapists

The most EV-friendly country in the world is still loyal to Tesla, as Model Y sales surge in May - Fortune

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

If you were president, how would you make America "great again?"

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Archaeologists find what may be the first definitive proof that Neanderthals made artwork - Earth.com

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Do you like to wear a see-through skirt?

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Could Patriots cut Stefon Diggs and owe him nothing? It’s complicated. - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

After 6 new cases over the weekend, North Dakota has nation's highest measles rate - InForum

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”